He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
