You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
