Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
