Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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