So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
