You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
