Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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