we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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