I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
