He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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