i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
