this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
