Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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