Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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