there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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