Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
