They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
