i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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