he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wear drunk well.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
