Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
