He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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