I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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