my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize