No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think a kid would responsible me up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
