yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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