weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
