Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
