it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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