Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
