i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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