Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
