how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
