We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
