Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize