To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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