he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
