No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
