he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
