fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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