After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
