At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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