i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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