thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
