I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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