Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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