y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
