You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize