is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
