Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
