youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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