it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
