this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
