I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
