uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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