She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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