Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Randomize
