need another drink. this is the easiest way
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
