Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
