I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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