I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
