Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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