he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
