But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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