Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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