My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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