I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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