and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize