I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
