I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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