I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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