So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
